With Malice Towards All & All

Jon Dumbest

Hi Jon, how you feeling today?
Didn't get any money, hasn't been your day?

No one to swindle, trap or cheat,
You've beaten quite a hasty retreat,
Why don't you start a circus- you'll get many to show off their feats,
At least they'll look up to you, give you a seat.

Coz with me, you'll always be standing,
To top it all, you'll also get a banging,
Can't you see, we can't wait to see you hanging,
You're anyways always floating and dangling.

So how're you Jon, how you feeling today?
Saw no one dying, hasn't been your day?

We'll give you advice, got a missus in my mind,
She'll help you chill out, help you unwind.
Coz its been a busy day, a day to have a ball,
For driving all and sundry in the city right up the bloody wall.

You can pile them up, but be sure not to cause mayhem,
And maybe, in some other country you can start your own princess's harem.
How many have you got, can you count them on your fingers?
And when they're sick of you, you can feed them honey and ginger.

So, how're you Jon, how are you doing today?
Do you ever have anything, anything at all to say?

We tried to stop you,
Tried to turn the tide,
But we never won, never should've tried.
Coz you're too strong, too stubborn and rigid,
Can't help it, you make us all feel frigid.

You're so steeped in tradition, you're an antique,
You've never challenged the church, you all are like mice- so meek,
Think out of the box, do yourself a favor,
Stop thriving on me, I'm losing my flavor.

Its not so nice getting to know a dictator,
When you're in for a splatter and loads of slaughter.
Where did you get it, is it in your genes?
Are you happy with turning the minds of all the world's teens?
Coz they don't know what they're in for-
You'll end up leaving them like you, all blooming p-s-y-c-h-o-s.

So, how're you Jon, how're dealing today?
Got the markets reeling, making sure everyone has to pay?

Upturning all the systems to suit your personal needs,
Till everyone comes running, dropping at your feet,
Shutting down everything that's making some sense,
Starting overseas ventures, Oh ! you're so dense.

You should really stop, you're turning into a midget,
Soon we'll have to evacuate and set shop on a frigate,
Coz there's nothing left on land, untouched by you,
It's a shame it never turns into gold, I'm allergic, Achhoo!

So, how're you Jon, how're feeling today?
Got a tad richer, your wife's in the family way?

Did anyone tell you, you're a sore loser,
You blame those who don't even know ya,
You're vindictive and think you're divine,
You think you're a king, but people see a swine.

No one to crush, out-maneuver or step-on,
There's no one left, no one to feed on,
We've all lost, we've packed up and gone,
Now its only you, you gotta fight your own mind's demons.

You got what you wanted, we're all outta sight,
Coz we hate you, we hate to put up a fight.
So build up what you got, you got no time to spare,
Coz we're coming back, we got the balls and we dare.

An Ode to Dr Jekyll

There was a lad called Jekyll,
His parents made him a doctor,
He was real good at his profession,
But in the 10th year, he turned into Hannibal Lecter.

He was known for his intelligence,
He was so aggressive, he was cut-throat,
But in the 20th year something happened,
He landed up challenging the Pope.

The Pope stood strong and solid,
Unflinching in his faith,
Poor Jekyll was left demolished,
He toiled so hard to take up the drape.

Then he had visions of greatness,
Endeavoured to be good,
But God knows what transpired,
He turned into Robin Hood.

The masses took to him greatly,
He was the champion of the poor,
They followed him passionately,
But his wife showed him the door.

He chose the orphans over the rich kids,
Thought he'd start a revolution,
Then someone dragged him to court,
He was left to bribe the jurisdiction.

Then, an idea struck him like lightning,
He overnight became an inventor,
He toiled hard in the laboratory,
Ended up ousting his mentor.

Gradually, Jekyll grew up, in a world full of evil,
He had a couple of believers,
And, believe me, the old fogey even saw the devil.

Now Jekyll's rich and prosperous,
As prosperous can be,
He left no stone unturned in the market,
For cheating everybody, including you and me.

He finally learned the ways,
The ways of the big, bad world,
Now he's a bloody billionaire,
With not a care in the world.

So, what do you learn from Jekyll,
You know it's a bit of a riddle,
You've got to live 2-dimensional,
At extremes, never in the middle.

Look out for Dr Jekyll,
And his wicked, wicked ways,
Maybe you'll gather something,
But, you'll never make it in his day.

I've told you 'bout Dr Jekyll,
His life's now a book open wide,
But I've left to you to discover,
A certain Mr Hyde.

Ramee Romeo

You talk so SWEET, SWEET, SWEET,
Think you're a sex symbol, its just the opposite- EEK, EEK, EEK,
You're so conformist- MEEK, MEEK, MEEK,
You're crazy after guys- SEEK, SEEK, SEEK.

All your rich bosses they SUCK, SUCK, SUCK.
They're always playing dirty- MUCK, MUCK, MUCK,
You seem to be enjoying it- YUCK, YUCK, YUCK.
They take you for a free ride, you should try to make a BUCK, BUCK, BUCK.

You don't even realize they CHEAT, CHEAT, CHEAT,
Then you're so frustrated, you wanna BEAT, BEAT,BEAT,
You're always starving and malnourished - EAT,EAT, EAT,
You'll even lose your religion, you'll eat MEAT, MEAT,MEAT.

You believe in black MAGIC, MAGIC, MAGIC,
Well, that's really TRAGIC, TRAGIC, TRAGIC,
You don't believe in LOGIC, LOGIC, LOGIC,
You keep pretending, you're so STOIC, STOIC, STOIC.

You hold no sway over your boyfriends- they RUN, RUN, RUN,
They chase other chaste women, for you its FUN, FUN, FUN,
You were so lost when that happened, you became a NUN, NUN, NUN,
We were so sad for you, we almost showed you the GUN, GUN, GUN.

When you're caught and cornered you CRY, CRY, CRY,
Your Guru takes a fancy and others he'll FRY, FRY, FRY,
You do everything wrong, don't even TRY, TRY, TRY,
You're always looking for sympathy- WHY, WHY, WHY?

We tried to make place for YOU, YOU, YOU,
We gave you what was ours- TRUE, TRUE, TRUE,
But you didn't shine, we have no CLUE, CLUE, CLUE
You eloped right out of the BLUE, BLUE, BLUE.

So, Ramee its OK to LOSE, LOSE, LOSE,
Your radio'll get rid of your BLUES, BLUES, BLUES,
Provided you don't blow everyone's FUSE, FUSE, FUSE,
You know, everyone can't be a MUSE, MUSE, MUSE.

Phoney Phoenix

You're a rebel without a cause,
You never stop, reflect or pause.

You're in a mad rush to reach somewhere,
Truth is, you're really going nowhere.

You can never face defeat or failure,
Then you lie and God gives you a seizure.

You blame the ones better than you,
Then you drive them crazy, thank you.

You burn yourself in despair,
There's no end, you don't even care.

I've seen tears in your eyes,
What you're after is all fibs and lies.

You never get it do you?
The one you're after is always after another.

You're jealous and want others' property,
Not only that, even their men and their money.

You think you're rich and loaded,
Fact is, you're getting more and more jaded.

You keep coming at me though you're not invited,
I don't know what its 'bout me that gets you ignited.

Whatever it is, its not for me to share,
Its about time you realized I'm no thoroughfare.

Though it hurts me to say this seeing your piteous plight,
You're quite a virus, termite, even a parasite.

You keep looking for chances,
Can't evade your evil glances.

Wish you'd set out on your own,
For once, we want to be alone.

What I do, create or invent,
Tis not for you, you never relent.

What's mine is mine forever
You're never gonna grab it ever.

So STOP, stop what you're doing, you know its really not fine,
Soon you'll be behind bars - what you're up to is called a crime.

Victor Verne

Victor Verne's a menace, we don't know what to do,
Victor Verne's a burning furnace, we got to put him in the zoo,
Coz he'll try so hard, he'll maul ya,
And when he can't make it, he'll haunt ya.

Victor Verne's a quack, he practices alternative,
Victor Verne never snacks, they took him to be a native,
Coz he'll stare so hard when you're eating,
And he'll follow you around while the microwave's heating.

Victor Verne's so frail, he keeps passing out,
Victor Verne put someone in jail coz she sneezed too loud,
Coz he gets onto people's nerves,
You just can't figure him out.

Victor Verne loves bananas, they really turn him on,
Victor Verne cried a hosanna in the middle of a mob,
Coz he's really religious, as religious can be,
He's always converting people, he tried the same with me.

Victor Verne's an astrologer, he's got this thing for figures and names,
Victor Verne's a refined clerical, he's got his eyes on the dames,
Coz he feels so threatened and overawed,
He tried his level best to paw me out.

Victor Verne's a survivor he's really struggled and toiled,
Victor Verne's made his mark, now he's full-boiled,
Coz he'll get in your way and wipe you out,
And he'll make sure you'll never get back, up and about.

Victor Verne's a refugee; he's always looking to belong,
Victor Verne's now a deputy, they gifted him a sarong and thong,
Coz he tries, but he's really not with it,
They were meant for his wife, he didn't admit it.

Victor Verne's hospitalized, we hear he's in trouble,
Victor Verne's sterilized, they found him in a bubble,
Coz he's always doing that to gather attention,
Coz otherwise he doesn't even get a petty mention.

Oily Alex

Oily Alex thinks he's an apple; he's dying to be eaten,
Oily Alex sat on a maple, coz he was too scared to be beaten,
Oily Alex is meditative, he's only thinking of girls,
Especially the broad-nosed ones with all the wayward curls.

Oily Alex is a misfit; he's the wrong person in the wrong place,
Oily Alex is repulsive; he's got an abominably ugly face,
Oily Alex messed with me; I had a hard time,
We almost hit him in the face, he faced a quarantine.

Oily Alex is a pigmy; he's growing the other way round,
Oily Alex's been smashed; he's vanished underground,
Oily Alex's always perplexed; he didn't make it to the 10th grade,
He's a rustic illiterate; someone took him to be a maid.

Oily Alex is effeminate, as girly as can be,
Oily Alex cried rivers, just looking for sympathy,
Oily Alex never gives up; he's got everyone on his side,
Coz they all are like him, all looking for a free ride.

Oily Alex is dyslexic; he's always tongue-tied,
Oily Alex is a desperado; his only goal is to take a bride,
Oily Alex studied philosophy, but never seemed to understand,
The difference between right and wrong, they left him to play the band.

Oily Alex is an opportunist; he's always piling on,
Oily Alex thinks he's the sole protagonist, he's forever on a song,
Oily Alex is dismal; he keeps promoting his wretched wife,
We're so sick of him; he'll probably take his own life.

Oily Alex thinks he's smart; we'll ride with him all the way,
Oily Alex doesn't seem to get it, he's discarded right out of our way,
Oily Alex is absurd, peculiar, retarded and bizarre,
What's he doing with us? Will someone show him the door?

So, Oily Alex, we're sick of your slimy, slimy ways,
You've taken so much of our time, years, months even days,
What is it gonna take to stop you in your tracks,
Coz it's just not enough when we show you our backs.

Jack August

You're struggling to be everyone's favorite,
A hero, a leader, a champion, even a pseudo maverick,
You'd like to think of yourself as a charmer,
You end up looking and thinking like a farmer,
You gatecrash and keep coming uninvited,
You think you'll score a point, also get knighted.

You're so loud, aggressive, extreme and garish,
For nothing you stood up against the Parish,
They never loved you, you were not the chosen one,
You were in the wrong place, looking for pleasure and fun,
You troubled and tousled their serious meditations,
They took you for a ride, for you, it was a deviation.

Then, you got bitter and threatened to get rid of them,
The result was chaotic; you caused literal mayhem,
Don't you see, you don't have what it takes,
You should keep to yourself and your world full of fakes.
You get roused for nothing, you're just waiting to be excited,
You get stuck on a thought, a person, you're fixated.

You tried so hard to stand up and be counted,
You turned everything around, every rule, you flouted,
We keep wondering what we're doing wrong,
It never occurred to us, that you were the wrong 'un,
You live in the past, you're behind by a year or two,
Your team comprises of losers, they're so emotional and full of goo.

You conveniently disrupt and walkover everyone else,
You're so pathetic, vacuous, thick-skinned and mentally, dense.
You came to us, ill, retarded, looking to be cured,
But you never obeyed, were faithless, hopeless and bored,
You took our own people onto your losing side,
You tried to be different, tried to turn the tide.

We do very well, we're shining without you,
But you don't seem to like that, you want us to be blue,
We treat you like a transvestite, a tramp, a pariah,
But you get more determined, you say, 'Come, I'll show ya',
We realize that we're never gonna make it with you,
You don't even take it seriously, when collectively, we say boo.

You're in your dad's mould, always intimidating and being a bully,
We'll have to think of how to get rid of you and your clan fully,
You'll grab someone else's assets, ideas and property,
Then you'll say they're yours and you'll make pots of money,
You never seem to comprehend that you're not our hero,
We've badly vanquished you, left you to be a zero.
You do everything fully wrong; start all the pesky trends,
Then you pose as a winner, largely at someone else's expense.

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